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So it works both ways

AmorI am the last person to judge people and take sides in a divorce matter as I always believe any case has two very equal sides, but I have been fascinated by the press coverage of the events surrounding Amor and Joost’s divorce.

So a few days ago there was this article where Amor is quoted as saying that she read about Joost’s sickness and treatment in the same press as we did. Apparently he didn’t tell her (and by implication his children) that he was sick, what was wrong, or the treatment he is seeking.

Again, I am not able to judge the truth in that article, and I’m only going to comment on the general principle of one angry divorced parent who refuses to cooperate or talk to the other parent. And my first observation is that it is interesting that in this case (if true) the woman is willing to work together and it is the man who is hiding information, and not the other way around.

I’m also wondering if it is generally the case that the unfaithful party is the one hiding information. Perhaps they are too ashamed to come out boldly facing their infidelities. Maybe they are just not finished cheating around yet. Well, its just a thought.

So back to the story: What does the “uncooperative” person think, how do they justify their witholding of information to their children, the very people they proclaim to love? Isn’t love for a child somewhat unconditional? And in this day and age where you can find out the exact whereabouts of a person so easily (if you are interested enough), how much value is there in not telling your spouse and children? Who is getting the short end of the stick here?

Maybe it is out of frustration that you try to hit back at your ex-spouse using the only weapon you know is strong enough to hurt him/her: Using the children (or lack of respect for the children – equally bad). What, exactly, is going to happen if your ex knows what you are doing? Is it really that bad? Does it really justify putting your children under so much pressure just so you can score some points?

Yeah, I’m not sure about this game. I don’t think either parent wins, and I’m convinced the children hurt the most. What do you think?


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