My kid is a Rose bush
Growing Kids
Another book review, but this time I didn’t finish every page. I jumped around a bit. Maybe that is how a self-help book is supposed to be read? I got enough from it to say it is Good Stuff.
The book is Growing Kids With Character by Hettie Brittz. She dedicates the book to Proclamation Hill, which is a suburb in the Pretoria area that I know well. If you can survive Proklamasieheuwel, you can survive anything life throws at you, I know, because I helped foster children that came from that background.
Just as background you know that I am divorced? And that my Ex and I don’t see eye-to-eye about parenting? She is the stricter Hitlerian-do-as-I-say-NOW! one, and I am the more relaxed Let-it-grow-where-it-falls one. So, how does that help the little one that is thrown from house to house? How can we help her cope better with living in two houses that are so different?
Here’s the deal: The Author says that you can easily classify your child’s response to his environment in 4 different ways. There is a Palm tree who is always happy and partying. Then there is a Rose bush, prickly but purposefully pretty. Or the tidy and stylish Lollipop tree.You can even be a Pine tree, calm and steady.
My child is a Rose bush. This corresponds to a “D” on the DISC analysis. Agressive, bad tempered and insensitive. But they can be so wonderful in full bloom. Not everybody knows how to prune a rose bush, and me – also a “D” or a rose bush – I might not be the most knowledgable gardener God has entrusted with this child. From small she was the one who said “I will do it myself”. She is not a very good listener but she is inquisitive and asks a lot of questions. And she puts her heart into everything she does.
Rose bushes are quick to share their ideas, but not their hearts.
My final thoughts are somewhat sad. The Author says “As the sapling is bent, so the tree grows“. Sadly, my poor child is constantly being bent into two different directions by two parents who have not yet come to terms with their divorce. I have no idea what her tree is going to look like when she grows up. All I can tell her is: Daddy loves you very much. Life is sometimes giving us tough choices, but I hope your rose bush is going to spring forth with millions of beautiful flowers.
May 6th, 2010 at 9:29 am
I started to read that book. but it would seem I have already sussed my kiddie out quiet well, so I stopped as soon as I realised I was not gonna learn anything new. However, kiddie #2 might not be as easy, so I will keep it on hand till then:-)
May 6th, 2010 at 11:39 am
The second is easier and so on … after number 7 it is almost no effort. You had better start with number 2 soon! 😉
June 19th, 2010 at 8:36 am
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