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Mom, if you care

Leon and TiffinyI told you I am home far too much nowadays, being jobless and all. But this one was good: On Monday 1 Feb 2010 Dr Phil (yup the one screened around noon on SABC) talked about divorced parents and some stuff around that.

Divorce is part of our vocabulary today. We all know children who are affected by divorce.

So Dr Phil rolls out the candidates and the opinions and he gives it to everybody, as always. High and mighty opinions from his throne above. And I feel guilty and relieved and fascinated and defensive about it all. Very theatrical! Made for TV!

But somewhere near the end, Dr Phil gets to a valid focus point. He starts talking about divorced mothers who have nothing good to say about the ex-fathers. I think he brought the one participant to the point where he said to her “mom if you care about your child you will care about her father“. That was an awesome point. I know at least two people who are exactly in that position: Susan* (not her real name) who is today MD of a Company who was never allowed to mention her Dad’s name in her Mom’s house, and Fred* (not his real name) a successful businessman who eventually told his mother to make a choice: Either stop bad mouthing his dad or get the hell out. There is also this very polite young man, now 23 years old, who grew so tired of the verbal abuse he decided to leave the house to find out if his dad was really as bad as his mom always said. He never said anything to his mom, but after studying for a few years away from home he hasn’t come home permanently yet.

Do these Holy mothers think they fell pregnant by Immaculate Conception?

They’re not fooling me. The last time that happened was slightly more than 2000 years ago. The way babies are made today is sex (yes, two naked bodies in bed, remember?). And in most cases, help me if I’m wrong, it is consensual. Yup, they both enjoyed it. One child == two people having sex.

Respect is a very fragile sentiment. Respect cannot be grabbed by one person. Respect is a reflection of yourself off another person. Respect is not mobilising a whole army of think-alike people to say how good you are. Respect grows, slowly, in the eyes of a knowledgable person.

So, Moms, long-long ago (in fairy-tale land) some man was good enough to have babies with. For the sake of your child you should respect that. Your children should not be affected (directly or indirectly) by your divorce fights.

 

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