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Is Marriage About Money?

Money DivorcesI’ve been wondering about this post for a long time, and it is probably going to go over 2 chapters because it covers a lot of territory. It started a long time ago, during my divorce proceedings, when one of the junior lawyers asked me some personal questions during a coffee break. Without going into gory details the question was: Based on my personal experience, do I think his wife will still respect him if he takes a year or two off from work to study and she has to support him during that time.

My answer was simple: Observe the stats and beware. When the man earns less than the woman, she dumps him. Almost always.

Google it and just accept the fact that – while we live in the world of gender equality in the work place – there is no equality in marriage. Once a woman gains financial power over a man – for whatever reason, pre-agreed or not – she will destroy him. I cannot explain why, I can only testify to the millions of case studies on the internet that confirms this observation: If you want to save your marriage, boys, do not earn less than your wife for whatever reason, even if she agrees to it and even if you do an excellent job as housekeeper or homebuilder. Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. For some reason, in today’s society that is far more financially oriented than morally oriented, when the wife has the financial power she will use it against everybody she loves. Or loved before. She loses her ability to remember her promises before God and she will defend her aggression towards her spouse with every legal weapon she can muster.

Now that places a big damper on a lot of aspirations, I know. I’m sorry. I wish it was different. I wish I could make it better. But those are the facts. A women with money is a women without morals. She is incapable of sustaining love, the very thing a woman is supposed to stand for. Money corrupts her womanhood and she turns against the people she loves and that loves her. Money becomes her power, and in exchange she loses the most powerful power of all: Motherhood power.

Sounds terrible? Sure. Sounds normal? Yes!

Then, to continue, this morning I read another article over at ScienceBlog on a somewhat related issue and guess what: The author quotes Historian John Boswell:

In premodern Europe, marriage usually began as a property arrangement, was in its middle mostly about raising children, and ended about love. Few couples in fact married ‘for love,’ but many grew to love each other in time as they jointly managed their household, reared their offspring, and shared life’s experiences. Nearly all surviving epitaphs to spouses evince profound affection. By contrast, in most of the modern West, marriage begins about love, in its middle is still mostly about raising children (if there are children), and ends – often – about property, by which point love is absent or a distant memory. (Boswell, _Same Sex Unions in PreModern Europe_ xxi-xxii)

I wrote about similar subjects in my previous posts (here and here and here and here) and it simply confirms what I’ve said before: When you go into your marriage contract, you sign on the dotted line with the belief that it is all about love. When you break up, however, you don’t get broken up because of lack of love … no! … you get divorced because of too much money in the wrong hands! It is one of the leading causes of matrimonial disharmony! And it just makes me wonder if we have made any progress at all.

Perhaps I should continue tomorrow with my thoughts. Meanwhile I encourage you to read the referenced article. It is very good.

2 Responses to “Is Marriage About Money?”

  1. Maynard Kleinert Says:

    If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure. — Dan Quayle

  2. Stay-at-home Ex « Leon's Random Ramblings Says:

    […] choices, putting my feelings down into words. I’ve written about some of the issues before, here, and here. The partner with the money can (and frequently does) make decision that hurt the other […]

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