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I need some space

I need spaceCosmopolitan Magazine of August 2010 page 72 has a very good article. I bought it for the headline:

I need some space

Very soon into reading the article the writer says “I need some space” are words most [people] dread hearing because it is so difficult to know what they mean“. And they hit the nail on the head when they say you have to ask yourself a few questions … namely what is your spouse’s definition of “space”. Do they just need some breathings space, or do they want to play in a new space with a new lover?

They continue on the next page and maybe I quote it slightly out of context but the words are exactly correct: Women can be good at self-deceit. Perhaps it is a function of their upbringing or their attempts at not hurting their partner or whatever. It doesn’t matter to me. I don’t really care while the relationship is pre-marriage. Just deal with it. Read Cosmo, find some help and get on with your life.

But when you are married, in my opinion, things change (BBC World). YOU changed them. YOU stood in front of your lover, your friends and family and in the presence of God, and YOU promised (I quote):

I do.

That, is different. I find that promise to be a lot stronger than just two people trying to figure out how to get along with each other and telling lies when they don’t want to hurt the other person. In fact, when you marry (and I’m talking most Christian marriages here), you promise to put any thought of separation and divorce out of your mind, and replace those previously convenient phrases of “I need space” with higher level phrases, for example “I committed, how can I make it work”. Once married there is no such thought as “I committed, what excuse can I use to get out”. Marriage does not have a Get-Out-Of-Jail card.

And the Blessings for honouring your Covenant with God, are plentyful.

I don’t think Cosmo was giving their advice to (Christian) married couples. I sincerely hope not.


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