Leon's Random Ramblings

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I don’t trust you anymore

Crack in the WallReflecting on the News24 headline yesterday “I no longer trust Joost – Amor” and the news that he moved out.

Sad. Really sad. But there is no other way.

When the trust is gone, so is the relationship.

As I’ve written in a previous post, you allow this person into your personal space, into your body, into your soul. You give everything, unconditionally. There is no more to give. You stand there naked. And this is the one person apart from perhaps your mom who knows everything about you, has seen everything on (or off) you, from whom you have hidden nothing.

And to find out that you were not good enough, that they needed somebody else to make them feel adequate, hurts. That your bestest could only humour them for a moment, is painful. But that they lied about it, makes it unbearable.

It takes two, see. Two people, honest with each other. If you only give half, and hide some secrets, don’t expect to receive a full portion in return. And that includes the privilege of a loved one, family life, and a full relationship. Its not wrong to give half or less. If you feel like giving a little, thats ok, but please do the honourable thing and don’t lie to me. Don’t steal everything from me in return for only giving me your discards.

I don’t know what to say to the children though.

While the cheater is cheating, he/she isn’t thinking about the children. And when he/she is lying, he/she isn’t thinking about the children. They are only thinking about how they are feeling, and how important their own feelings are.

How do you say to a child that his god has feet of clay?

I’ve learnt my lesson. I made a promise to myself that I will not humiliate myself again. I will only give my trust to somebody who is trustworthy.

And you?

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